It’s 8:33pm on Monday April 3rd, 2017. (That’s right, it’s 2017 and Mattel still hasn’t delivered on a real Hoverboard) Anyway, the past 3 nights I’ve slept in 3 different hotels in 3 different cities in 3 different states. My schedule has been a little sporadic, so I thought I’d slow things down and type some thoughts for an hour… or at least until the NyQuil does its thing.
8:37pm First off, I’d just like to congratulate all MLB and MiLB players who made an Opening Day roster somewhere! It’s a very special accomplishment, and shouldn’t be taken for granted. And it also means that, after waking up at 5am in spring training for the last 6 weeks … you are now allowed to sleep till noon and go to bed at midnight!
8:41pm Oh yeah, my name is Tim Dillard. And this is the third time logging my Inner Monologue for MLB Trade Rumors. (Part 1 and Part 2) I’m currently watching Opening Day baseball in a hotel in Colorado Springs, Colorado. And I am proud to be on a professional Minor League baseball roster for my 15th season!
8:43pm Making an Opening Day roster anywhere is the equivalent to winning an award! It’s like the end of Star Wars, where Han Solo and Luke Skywalker are awarded medals! The few years I didn’t make an Opening Day roster, I felt a bit more like Chewbacca… who was there and did stuff, but didn’t get a medal. *insert pity party emoji
8:45pm I should really stop using Star Wars analogies though. Cause one time… I had a former friend tell me he didn’t like Star Wars.
8:48pm Just heard a lady swearing out in the hallway! Sounds like she’s upset that her key card doesn’t work. That’s true. That can be frustrating. When you check into a hotel, go up the elevator, drag luggage down the hall, find your room, and the key doesn’t work! #$%^>*&@!
8:50pm Last week I was the odd man out, and played catch with a pitching coach. He looked a little frustrated with me, as I “nonchalantly” tried to make EVERY throw extra hard and extra awesome! I over-do-it throwing with members of the coaching staff for 2 reasons: First, I’m always looking for an opportunity to try and impress the coaches… and I forgot the other reason.
8:55pm The NyQuil may be preparing its magic, so I better type fast.
8:56pm The other day I was fortunate enough to be in Milwaukee to help back up the Brewers for their Exhibition Games before Opening Day! I didn’t get to pitch, but got to soak up several memorable moments!
8:59pm One of the moments was just putting on a Big League Brewers uniform in that clubhouse! Something I haven’t done since July 2012! I began thinking of all the mounds I’ve pitched on, and all the places I’ve been between then and now. Very special.
9:01pm The other moment was something I had never experienced before! After the last Exhibition Game concluded, there was NEARLY zero time to catch my return flight back to the Minor Leagues. So let’s just say, that the person next to me on the 3 and a half hour plane flight could smell a combination of Dubble Bubble and Flexall. Aaaaannd that’s the first time in my career I’ve played a baseball game in one state, and showered in another.
9:07pm Speaking of interesting flights, this past December I was on a plane with PGA golfer Jordan Spieth! Yeah I don’t watch golf, but somebody told me it was him. And that he was famous! So naturally I consulted google after we landed. But it was interesting because, right after I googled him… I looked up, and saw Jordan Spieth looking at me and typing on his phone. Kinda got the feeling he was googling ME.
9:13pm Anyway sorry to name-drop. Not sure why I shared that story. I really don’t like name-dropping that much. In fact, I was talking about that with Ryan Braun last week.
9:15pm Also last week, I made some Latin music videos for Twitter and Instagram. It was fun. But the response I got was incredible! Venezuela, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Panama, even Telemundo in Milwaukee! It’s like no one’s ever seen a gringo perfectly lip-syncing Spanish mega-ballads before! But yes for the record… no habla español.
9:18pm But I did buy Rosetta Stone before I flew to Mexico to play baseball in spring 2013! Only to give up after it constantly taught me how to ask about the current state of the foresting industry in Chile.
9:24pm Hold on, I’m reading NyQuil’s side effects. Interesting. Along with “constipation” and “diarrhea,” one of the side effects is actually, “trouble sleeping.” I guess they have to put those on there to make sure they cover all their bases.
9:27pm Tonight is the Men’s NCAA Basketball Championship! It’s between team such and such, and team yada yada… actually I don’t really know who’s playing. My junior college Alma Mater didn’t make the cut this year, so I don’t really care who wins.
9:30pm Yesterday a teammate asked me how many teams were in the Final Four. Later he asked me how I’ve managed to play baseball as long as I have. My answer to both questions was the same: “Listen man, I really need to take a shower.”
9:34pm This is my 2nd night in Colorado Springs. And after all my recent hard work and exercise in Arizona… today, I was easily defeated by a flight of stairs. Adjusting to 6,000 feet above sea level is no joke. The important thing is to be patient, and wait for the elevator.
To Be Concluded…
Confused? It may or may not help if you read Part I and Part II.
I would be glad to be him anyway. Really hard to make it even on a minor league roster
This is MLBTR gold
This is phenomenal stuff
what the hell is this guy talking about?
You’re one of those people
It’s useful to read the entire piece, which ends:
“Confused? It may or may not help if you read Part I and Part II.” (Link provided)
Did you mean Hoverboard?
Awesome stuff. Can’t wait to read the next one!
All those moments of standing there next to the projector delivering in-service training at work, expecting my jokes to be received with raucous laughter only to be met with fifteen to twenty seconds of dead silence… it seems like it was all worth it knowing Tim is out there somewhere. He’s my hero.
Hehehe. He is hilarious and what a great attitude! The money is the pits but he loves what he does. That makes a big difference.
Yeah what the hell. Chewy was there risking his life like Han and Luke. Such bullsh!t.
End anti-Wookie bias, now and forever, and a long long time ago !
As tradition, whenever I visit ColoSpgs for a Sky Sox game, I drop the name of a player to get my parking for free. Tim: you are now that player. Welcome to the pantheon of players such as Kyle Wren, Scooter Gennett and Josh Hader.
“I really don’t like name-dropping that much. In fact, I was talking about that with Ryan Braun last week”
Most subtle name-drop goes to….
That was his humorous intention, to be laughing at himself.
Please have Dim do these all year.