Your Alphabet Of 2011 Storylines

With Opening Day so close I'm having hot dog-based fever dreams, I decided to face a pair of problems squarely. One is how to properly organize my thoughts about the critical storylines we'll be following on MLB Trade Rumors this season. The other? How to entertain my daughter, who just turned one. Let's face it: after a while, even an infant turns to you with a look that says: "I get it. Pat the Bunny is both a proper name and a suggestion. What else you got?"

So to help her to sleep at night, let's take a look at what will keep the rest of us up, furiously refreshing the page:

A is for Albert, El Hombre's contract year

Who will show him the money? Should Cardinals fans have fear?

B is for Beltran, the limping Met in right

Look for New York to deal him to someone in the fight

C is for Crawford, who Sox got with late swoop

Did Boston overpay? And how do Rays regroup?

D is for Doug Davis, a story sweet and true

He'll soon help some rotation, and tears will flow on cue

E is for Ethier, who Dodgers may soon deal

While stardom is elusive, his production is for real

F is for Fielder, first baseman oversized

Who may lead Brew to pennant, then be free agent prize

G is for Gerrit, Cole should go first in draft

Consensus is a different pick would be extremely daft

H is for Houston, where Drayton's leaving town

New boss must reverse trend of Astros heading down

I is for Iannetta, catcher a mile high

Will he fulfill potential? Or will Rockies say goodbye?

J is for Javy, the once (and future?) stud

Will move from Yanks to Marlins revive this Gotham dud?

K is for K-Rod, will his huge option vest?

If he finishes 55, the Mets have failed their test

L is for Lee, last winter's big to-do

If Cliff's performance dips, how soon will Philly boo?

M is for McCourt, whose divorce battle rages

Will it affect the Dodgers' ability to pay their wages?

N is for Nathan, who's back from elbow woes

A large amount of money will ride on how he throws

O is for Orioles, with new faces from the past

In league's toughest division, they still should finish last

P is for Pirates, where hope is finally seen

Will record, after years of losing, mirror Charlie Sheen?

Q is for Quentin, Pale Hose need him to bash

With strong walk year, by winter's end he'll be awash in cash

R is for Reyes, a decent bet to go

A bidding war this summer will deal Mets fans a blow

S is for Sabathia, opt-out can make him free

But who'll outbid the Yankees? No one that we can see

T is for Tampa, in division nonpareil

Rays spent sparingly this winter, but what they spent, spent well

U is for Utley, who battles Wounded Knee

If he cannot recover, who will his stand-in be?

V is for Victor, who Tigers signed for bat

But now they'll catch Avila? I mean, what's up with that?

W is for Wilpon, who faces massive debts

The smart money says he will be forced to sell the Mets

X is for Xavier, left fielder at Chase 

Expect him to have 25 home run pace

Y is for Yankees, and here is some advice

When you deal them a pitcher, make Montero the price

Z is for Zambrano, half-pitcher and half-storm

Says here that he will recapture his earlier ace form


Full Story | 166 Comments | Categories: Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

166 Comments on "Your Alphabet Of 2011 Storylines"


WolandJR
4 years 3 months ago

g is for get a life. love this site, but you obviously have too much time on your hands. try a going on a date or building model airplanes or something.

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

There are like 10 writers. And Tim has a wife and I believe a kid. The guy who wrote this comes on once every 4324342 years.

captainjeter
4 years 3 months ago

this guy is a jerk. I am so tried of people saying that theYankees should deal Montero for pitching. Let the kid be. Go with the young kids, enough already. I am sick and tried of the Yankees dealing their top prospects for an instant fix. A Jax deal is going to come back and bite them in the ass.
Signing Teixeria was a great deal , but at what price? They had to surrender Mike Trout to the Angels who is now ranked the #2 prospect right behind Bryce Harper. He went from #51 to #2 in one year. And Gerritt Cole refused to sign with the Yankees at 17, despite the facts he grew up a Yankee fan , his whole family famiily are Yankee fans and he always dreamed of playing for the Yankees. The Yankees offer the jerk 5 million dollars and he turns it down because Boras told him to. Now , it appears he is going to be the #1 draft pick this year. I hope he enjoys playing for the Nationals .

4 years 3 months ago

Pittsburgh has the 1st pick assclown… Nats dont pick until 6th…

notsureifsrs
4 years 3 months ago

sup guys just thought i’d stop by to tell somebody who is paid to write material for the baseball website i am using my spare time to comment on that he should consider doing something more productive

4 years 3 months ago

Good grammar is the difference between helping your uncle jack off his horse, and helping your Uncle Jack, off of his horse. Just sayin…

notsureifsrs
4 years 3 months ago

the sentence you commented on is flawless

“helping your Uncle Jack, off of his horse” is funny but flawed

use of capitalization & punctuation without attention to purpose is about as useful as a fart in a spacesuit

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

Hypocrite much? You did not use one capital letter nor any puncuation. To be honest, both of you fail at grammar.

notsureifsrs
4 years 3 months ago

you and i both know what the traditional rules of grammar are. only one of us has scrutinized them for usefulness. there is nothing impressive about your ability to memorize and blindly follow someone else’s rules

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

But you just snapped at darrelld for not following the rules while you aren’t following the rules either. I give up. I don’t get it.

notsureifsrs
4 years 3 months ago

that is a ridiculous summary. he introduced the subject of grammar light-heartedly. i responded in kind. then you came in calling fail

story’s moral: next time you don’t get it, give up before you start

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

“sup guys just thought i’d stop by to tell somebody who is paid to write material for the baseball website i am using my spare time to comment on that he should consider doing something more productive ”

Not one piece of capitalization or puncuation.

“the sentence you commented on is flawless “helping your Uncle Jack, off of his horse” is funny but flawed use of capitalization & punctuation without attention to purpose is about as useful as a fart in a spacesuit”

Yet again, no capitalization nor puncuation.

“you and i both know what the traditional rules of grammar are. only one of us has scrutinized them for usefulness. there is nothing impressive about your ability to memorize and blindly follow someone else’s rules”

You guessed it.

“that is a ridiculous summary. he introduced the subject of grammar light-heartedly. i responded in kind. then you came in calling fail story’s moral: next time you don’t get it, give up before you start”

Okay, this one has a couple pieces of pucuation, but not at every sentence and the trend continues with capitalization.

notsureifsrs
4 years 3 months ago

and yet every sentence was an easy read. so what are you doing?

amusingly, for the most part it is only he unthinking rule-followers that feel compelled to criticize others for not also following them — even when their writing is completely clear

you won’t find me mocking you every time you needlessly capitalize the first word of a sentence for example. why? because so long as the writing is clear, who cares that you decorate some of your words like a 9 year old girl drawing her crush’s name in a hello kitty notebook. have a great time

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

I will quote you one more time. “the sentence you commented on is flawless “helping your Uncle Jack, off of his horse” is funny but flawed use of capitalization & punctuation without attention to purpose is about as useful as a fart in a spacesuit”

You were complaining about his grammar when yours was not up to par. And stating that your comment is flawless was just ridiculous. And yes, most of the comments are fine to read but the first one took a couple looks. Whatever.

Encarnacion's Parrot
4 years 3 months ago

We get it. Most MLBTR commenters don’t know, or don’t care about orthography.

Who knew that using the alphabet in an acrostic mannor would start this crap up again.

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

I could care less about his grammar. It’s the hypocarcy that I am talking about.

4 years 3 months ago

Blah blah blah cry cry cry

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

Ahhh mature

dwarfcatt
4 years 3 months ago

How far to the right and tiny can the reply boxes get?

We’re on the verge of a major discovery. We cannot stop replying now!

4 years 3 months ago

I will reply to your message until we see how small it gets…

4 years 3 months ago

Wow. It does get pretty small

4 years 3 months ago

Can’t get any smaller…can it?

4 years 3 months ago

Incredible!

dwarfcatt
4 years 3 months ago

I would “Like” this 1,000 times over if I could

wickedkevin
4 years 3 months ago

THATS WHAT SHE SAID

notsureifsrs
4 years 3 months ago

the sentence is flawless because it reads easily. you think i’m unaware that it was without punctuation or capitalization? gee, no weirdo had every mentioned that to me before and the text of the fifty published articles i read every day never struck me as any different in appearance from my own writing

dude’s sentence was flawed because the placement of a comma interrupted the reading of it. i don’t error-check sentences for their use of arbitrary grammar conventions because that is an utter waste of life. i analyze them for the success with which they convey their meaning – because that is the purpose of writing

for example your two sentences here: “I could care less about his grammar. It’s the hypocarcy that I am talking about.”

these rate poorly on conveying anything meaningful. “i could care less” suggests the opposite of what you meant it to. “i couldn’t care less” would have made sense

and the word is hypocrisy, not hypocarcy – which does not even mimic the sound. though if you’re going to study a word, at this point i’d recommend “prescriptivism” so you can hopefully learn why you’re wasting your time being annoying

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

Ladies and Gentleman. I think I hit a bit of a nerve.

________________________________

4 years 3 months ago

I was trying to be funny, I hope it worked:) I still have to look at my keyboard while typing..

4 years 3 months ago

You should be banned from MLBTR out of principle. Sitting in the law school library studying was so awful before I read this poem and remembered what holiday today was!

tmoney352
4 years 3 months ago

preach. had this up during crim law!

4 years 3 months ago

L is for LAME…you got that one wrong. Really…you did not have to make it rhyme…

vonhayesdays
4 years 3 months ago

you forgot D is for Disaster , cuz thats what this was

4 years 3 months ago

True, I did…L was the first one that came to mind.

vonhayesdays
4 years 3 months ago

all in all one of the funnier threads ive ever read

tacko
4 years 3 months ago

4/26 of these are meant to dampen Mets’ fans mood the night before opening day. Get a life.

Todd Smith
4 years 3 months ago

Because Mets fans had nothing to be upset about until this post happened…

4 years 3 months ago

you must not have known what happened at wounded knee to make such an ugly joke about utley “battling wounded knee”. serious lack of taste.

4 years 3 months ago

It’s been how many years? Are you really going to nitpick about something meant for amusement. History reigns eternal, but if we watch what we say or reference for every atrocious thing in history we’d need a new language and retire words like numbers are in baseball.

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

We don’t need a new language. My History teacher spoke and English and I got the jist of what’s happened in the past.

4 years 3 months ago

over a century is waaaaay too soon.

4 years 3 months ago

Ann Frank was not over a century ago….

rathman53
4 years 3 months ago

While I appreciate the effort, that was cheesy as hell.

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

This had SO MUCH potencial.

+1 for the idea
+1 for the “B is for Beltran, the limping Met in right”
-3 for everything else

The rhyming was a little over the top.

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

I rapped this out.

DunkinDonuts
4 years 3 months ago

This made my seven-month-old daughter cringe, and she’s usually pretty receptive to stupid things.

YanksFanSince78
4 years 3 months ago

There’s ajoke in here but I’m trying to be a Christian.

DunkinDonuts
4 years 3 months ago

It only counts as a set-up if someone follows through with the knockdown. Your Christianity is depriving the MLBTR community of potential gems, and that’s not very Christian of you. Just saying.

mhaftman7
4 years 3 months ago

For further future reference, Philly fans don’t “boo” failure. We “boo” lack of effort. But way to jump in on the bandwagon that is the national media. I know, maybe we’ll get lucky enough to have the opportunity to throw snow balls at the Astros before, during, and after the game.

DunkinDonuts
4 years 3 months ago

So what did Santa Claus ever do to you guys? Did he not bring enough cheer to boys and girls the world over? Did he not put sufficient effort into his sleigh-driving, despite managing to visit homes on six continents in the span of a single night?

metsman
4 years 3 months ago

talk about bandwagon…you can speak for an entire fanbase? 90% of people who boo at any baseball stadium do so because they are drunk….a sensitive Philly fan, how sweet!

damnitsderek
4 years 3 months ago

Philly fans boo things that they either don’t like or that did not go in their favor.

See: Drew, J.D.

4 years 3 months ago

I think Parra is more likely to start in left than Nady so 25 may be hard to come by.

Hits & Gigs
4 years 3 months ago

I enjoyed it.

But then again I’m procrastinating so I enjoy everything.

Sniderlover
4 years 3 months ago

Hahah I can’t believe so many people are so serious. Lighten up.

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

I can’t believe it’s not butter.

Infield Fly
4 years 3 months ago

W is for Wilpon, who faces massive debts
The smart money says he will be forced to sell the Mets

I say “H” for HOT DAMN, and HURRY UP [lets]!! : p

DunkinDonuts
4 years 3 months ago

W is for Wilpon, he and Madoff were in cahoots…
Here’s hoping they get fitted for matching jumpsuits.

Infield Fly
4 years 3 months ago

…And D is for “damn straight,” ’cause that is a sentiment to which I relate!

$3866193
4 years 3 months ago

W is for the words that I’m about to say:
Everybody chill out and enjoy Opening Day!

😀

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

F is for…..

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

Whats with the random spacing in the middle of X. I felt that needed to be said.

JacksTigers
4 years 3 months ago

Sorry for the trolling. I’m bored as hell and not ready to go to bed.

4 years 3 months ago

What the hell is going on in this thread?

vonhayesdays
4 years 3 months ago

pure comedy and some over excitement for opening day

4 years 3 months ago

Fail and bans. Thats all I see.

vonhayesdays
4 years 3 months ago

relax , tell me you didnt laugh multiple times in the last 20 minutes reading this

4 years 3 months ago

A lil bit.. but the Mods are gonna come through here with a bulldozer

vonhayesdays
4 years 3 months ago

really i only see one or two that might be ban worthy and only one for sure

4 years 3 months ago

i made it one letter

4 years 3 months ago

Oh its coming..

vonhayesdays
4 years 3 months ago

the end is near

4 years 3 months ago

You have no idea.

vonhayesdays
4 years 3 months ago

Seriously though this site is moderated by some sticklers thats for sure.

4 years 3 months ago

Way back in the day the site wasn’t really moderated at all. But I’m sure the users on the site has gone up like 200 percent.

vonhayesdays
4 years 3 months ago

they removed a comment i wrote one time about a police officer who murdered somebody, mike vick and plaxico and it wasnt insulting to anybody but the american judicial system and they left one about cops anally rapping a prisoner with a baton , so i guess it depends on who is doing the moderating but if you look at the rules their pretty strict about comments

4 years 3 months ago

H is for Horrible.